Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize