I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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