is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
