Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
