we have pet lesbian snakes
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize