finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
