i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
