My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize