I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
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just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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