Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
