we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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