my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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