dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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