yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
