I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
