pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
