So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
