JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
