It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
