what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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