The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
