someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
