My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
