I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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