Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
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They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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