i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize