He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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