Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
