We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
