See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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