Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
