Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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