I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
