the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
...so i touched it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
