Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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