she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
