That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
