My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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