so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Everyone says I win the strip club
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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