You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
should my penis look like a turkey
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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