i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
