I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
