So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT