were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
