If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sorry about my life...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
