"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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