why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
