I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
