whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
