Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
