Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
