I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
