i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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