u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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