I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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