what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
