i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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