were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
