ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
