tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize